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If they'd like to still try to maintain a friendship with this person I give them the Name Test.The Name Test consists saying person's name who caused this pain and having them tell me the very first thing that comes up for them. Since I'm also reading their reaction through my fingertips, I won't let them lie about this. The reaction is always emotional pain - sometimes lots of it!Then I explain that until something other than that flash of agony is their first reaction, they cannot afford be near this person. And any attempts to stay close anyway will only punish them time after time again."The only cure I have to suggest is time," I say as gently as I can while holding their hand, if not their whole body at this moment, "If you leave it alone long enough the memory will eventually fade. If you have enough other good memories of them, these will balance things out, and you can deal with them again. But it will never be the same as what it once was, because that was only real in your. It was their escape from their dull jobs, dull husbands and dull lives. They each needed it, and both thought they'd probably go insane if they had to live their lives without their little escapes. They'd both tried the bar scene, but found it impossible to relax while warding off all the men with their stupid come on lines and the smell of stale perfume and cologne permeating the air.That day, Diane had brought a light salad and yogurt for lunch, and Barb smiled at her knowing her friend was back on a diet again. It seemed Diane was always on a diet. She'd been trying to lose that "ten pounds" for as long as Barb had known her. Not that she was fat or unattractive. She just had that extra weight around her waist, thighs and butt that a lot of middle aged housewives had.They both could still look pretty good if they tried and they both knew it. Their looks were one of the many subjects they'd discussed during their lunches together. On that day, they'd decided that with a new hair.
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